Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags


Nov. 20th, 2016 09:06 am
melcena: (Warm sun)
So, last night there was a minor monkey-mergency. Basically, he was too asleep to make it to the bathroom, so he peed in his doorway, stripped off his clothes and face planted back on top of his blankets. Naked.

This caused much panic from the spousal unit who was still awake. Which led to me being woken up and shoved toward the monkey room. I checked the bed for wet spots, got fresh jammies on the monkey, grabbed up his wet clothes, all while Jens was sopping up the puddle. Then I sprinkled baking soda liberally, because children and puppies are not so different no matter what most folks say, let's be honest here.

And before I went back to bed I had a chat with Jens, along the lines of, "Why did you need to get me up for that?" Apparently, the way I can't see what needs to be done when it comes to electronics and the fixing thereof, he can't see what needs to be done with a naked monkey and a pile of pee soaked clothes. That's MOM STUFF.

Fast forward to this morning, I'm juggling all the breakfast stuff to get a hot breakfast to the monkey and spouse. Eggs, maple bacon, croissants, and coffee for Jens and I. They're eating while I'm fetching milk for monkey and pouring coffee so that I can sit down to my considerably cooler breakfast of eggs, bacon, and croissants. And I come back in with the awesome mug my bestie, Liz, got me. It says, "I'm a MOM. What's your super power?"

Monkey reads this and immediately goes, "Being a mom is NOT a super power." And Jens pipes up, "UH. Yes it is. Last night when you were naked and on top of your covers it looked like one to me!"

And I am pointing out to this child that I do a lot that he doesn't notice, he just thinks things magically happen around the house (much like Oma's perma-stocked cupboards I had to educate him on the other day). And he, remembering what I told him before, says "Nothing happens by magic!"

"That's right! People do it! I do it! There's work that gets done that you don't notice!"

And Jens says, "A sufficiently advanced mother is indistinguishable from magic." <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Some days, there are huge perks to being married to a geek. Also, I need this on a mug. NEED. IT.
melcena: (Warm sun)
I have a bad habit of trying to push anything I might stress about to the back of my mind. If I'm not thinking about it I can stress about it right? Haha, no. Trying not to let myself worry about the hospital visit tomorrow, trying not to panic about leaving the house in such a mess because I'm not quite up to doing another cleaning binge. And I had nightmares all night last night. Like terrible "I had a baby and it got murdered" kind of nightmares. In one I was supposed to go to the hospital the next day to be checked in for tests and stuff but I was getting arrested because I drove like a maniac and ran red lights and almost ran folks over trying to get my baby (a girl btw) to the hospital. And don't think my brain left out the anxiety of filling out forms endlessly while panicking about the baby. No no, my brain doesn't do half measures.

So I woke up smelling blood. And I'm like goddamn it brain take it down a notch. Sit up. Niagara falls of blood suddenly down my face. On my pajamas (top and bottoms), on and in my house shoes ... booked it to the bathroom with a hand cupped under my nose trying to catch all I could so I wouldn't leave a blood trail down the hall.

Had to get on with the day, starting laundry to get the blood out and then getting on clothes and starting breakfast. Burned the butter in the pan while Jens was whisking the eggs managed to time everything just right so that I never had half a second to get my coffee going and I was constantly worried I would burn all of breakfast.

Then I get on Facebook and I'm reading so much tragedy and trying to focus on some of the good things and funny things and a friend puts up this thing on Pseudo-science calling gravity a toxin and I cracked up. And then in the comments was this GEM: http://sebpearce.com/bullshit/. New-Age Bullshit Generator. That made my morning I laughed so hard. I had to come change all my LJ stuff to various quotes.

I've eaten, had some coffee. Still feeling stressed but the panic has subsided. Got stuff to do, but Jens will be helping. I was kind of flailing around in the kitchen, all my counters covered in clutter, stressing about getting it clean and he said, "It's not just your responsibility. I DO live here too." Mind blown.
melcena: (He's been Keelhauled)
Right. We had to drive up to Berlin on Sunday so we could get all of the Pumpkin's paper work handled on Monday morning. I stressed and packed and packed to make sure he had everything. I packed extra empty jars so we could make his food in the bottle warmer. I packed all his favorite toys, six blankets, extra clothes, three days worth of diapers and wipes and two tubes of butt cream. I packed bottles of pre-boiled water, clean empty bottles, four spoons, four bibs, burp rags, his string of toys so he has entertainment in the pram. I packed his nail clippers, every possible medication he might conceivably need from gas drops to Ora-gel in case he cuts a tooth AND the dispensers. I packed five pacifiers ... you might at this point be wondering what I didn't pack. What one thing would we need that I spaced out and left 300km out of reach?

The freaking powdered baby formula. On a Sunday. In Germany. WHERE 98% OF SHOPS ARE CLOSED ON A BISCUIT EATING SUNDAY.

Jens went out in the snow and freezing rain to find some. He found a store that was open at the Zoo Station and got some formula, some chocolate for his air-headed wife, and DUNKIN DONUTS. He is made of goodness and win. It took him somewhere around two hours and he got back totally soaked and freezing.

I, in the meantime, had given the Pumpkin his leftover carrots and about an ounce of warm water trying to settle him down. I rocked him and snuggled him and tried everything I could to soothe him. He finally wore himself out crying and fussing not too long before Jens got back. We were both beyond exhausted and I was on the verge of tears.

Once I gave the Pumpkin a big bottle of formula, we all went to sleep. Or, you know, tried. The Pumpkin slept like a rock, Jens slept "OK, I guess." I got hardly any sleep. I basically just tried to lay still and keep my eyes closed 'til morning.

We had an expensive but convenient breakfast at the Hotel* before we headed out to the Embassy.

The Embassy and paperwork were the easiest and most painless part of the trip. In and out, easy peasy. All of the papers we need for him will be here in a couple of weeks. We were done so quickly that we got home well before the in-laws had expected us back.

We are, however, exhausted. And I already have a headache imagining the trip to the US in October.

* The Hotel which was bizarrely split up so that we had to go up a floor in the elevator, carry the pram down half a flight of stairs go down a hall, out onto a small balcony and back in to another stairwell where we had to carry the pram back up half a flight of stairs. No. I'm not kidding.
melcena: (Beautiful)
As is probably well known, I'm a horrible housewife. We had a bunch of things that went bad in the fridge, and my way of dealing with really nasty things (that are safely sealed and in the back of the fridge well out of sight) is to let them get tired of being in there and walk themselves out of the house. Or if pressed, to chunk the whole shebang and screw the normal "rinse and recycle" stuff.

My husband, while digging around in the fridge for god knows what, starts asking questions.

Jens: When did the yogurt go bad?
Me: Uh ... Early March?
Jens: And the pumpkin butter?
Me: Uh ... January, I think?
Jens: Why are they all still in the fridge, weren't you planning to do something with this buttermilk? *pulls out a bunch of jars and containers*
Me: Why are you putting it all on the counter?! Just leave them in there in the back they'll leave on their own eventually!
Jens: ... *continues and then carries some to the sink*
Me: You can just throw them away if you want. I wouldn't worry about cleaning them.
Jens: *attempts to pour things that should have been liquid down the drain* OH GOD! This is disgusting, it's gone SOLID. I need a bucket!
Me: *hides in shame*

But he did it! He cleaned them ALL. Without being asked. And then took the bucket out and dumped it. WITHOUT VOMITING! I am so proud. <3<3


melcena: (Default)

January 2017

15 161718192021

Most Popular Tags


RSS Atom

Style Credit

Page generated Sep. 21st, 2017 07:22 pm
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios