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melcena: (Warm sun)
OK! Here's a poll! Which of these dog shaming pictures (of my dog) are the best?!


My night

Apr. 30th, 2009 07:36 pm
melcena: (Noses are Tasty!)
Last night as I was heading to bed, very tired after cleaning house longer than I had anticipated, I noticed something odd at the edge of the ceiling. Now, since we put in the drop ceiling I have seen no spiders and have been very happy. It never occurred to me that they would just be hiding in the space between ceilings.

I turned the overhead light back on so that I could tell what exactly I was seeing. Sure enough, it was a spider butt. I darted to the bathroom and got my can of hairspray, because I've been told that works well to disable them and I have noticed that spray poisons don't seem to work on spiders as a general rule. I spray the crap out of the butt I can see only to have it come out of the crack between the wall and drop ceiling, which compels me to spray the entire thing mercilessly. It then crawls back into the crack so that I can no longer see it at all.

I begin to worry that I will have to go sleep in the living room since I cannot imagine sleeping in a room with a free-roaming, vindictive, hair-sprayed spider. THEN! Then mofo falls out of the crack and hits the radiator with a startling DING. It twitches and falls through the radiator onto the floor.

The Frog, who has been watching me with interest bordering on concern, leaps to his feet as I proceed to jump backwards into the wall. The Mighty Protector is ready to take out whatever it is that frightened me. Since the Mighty Protector does so well with bees and wasps I figure sending him after a mid-sized spider would be a great idea!

I let him out of his corner and say, "Go get it! Get it! Get it!" He begins to look confused, because he doesn't see anything menacing me. So, I walk him about 3/4ths of the way to the dreaded spider and point under the radiator. The Mighty Protector obediently goes to investigate. He sniffs around and finds the spider. He licks it, and then looks at me like I'm cracked. He walks away and is instantly downgraded from Mighty Protector to Big Dummy.

The spider is now ineffectually trying to escape, scrabbling but not finding purchase on the wall. So I do the only thing I can do. I grab a shoe and flail at it cursing in a high pitched half-scream. Big Dummy is sitting next to the bed watching me with an expression of: "Oh shit, she's really lost her mind now."

Once the spider is no longer twitching, and is in fact a gooey lump on my shoe, I stop and then run to the kitchen to dispose of it. I put Big Dummy back to bed, and do a visual check of the ceiling before I turn the light out. I crawled into bed, leaving my bedside light on, obsessively checking all the cracks over and over.

It took me an hour to settle down enough to turn out the light and go to sleep. Well, I lie. It took that long to get to the point where I was unable to keep my eyes open and decided to give up the fight.

When Jens came to bed at ungodly o'clock he seemed bemused by my talk of caulking up the cracks. I think he may have thought I was joking.


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