So, last night there was a minor monkey-mergency. Basically, he was too asleep to make it to the bathroom, so he peed in his doorway, stripped off his clothes and face planted back on top of his blankets. Naked.

This caused much panic from the spousal unit who was still awake. Which led to me being woken up and shoved toward the monkey room. I checked the bed for wet spots, got fresh jammies on the monkey, grabbed up his wet clothes, all while Jens was sopping up the puddle. Then I sprinkled baking soda liberally, because children and puppies are not so different no matter what most folks say, let's be honest here.

And before I went back to bed I had a chat with Jens, along the lines of, "Why did you need to get me up for that?" Apparently, the way I can't see what needs to be done when it comes to electronics and the fixing thereof, he can't see what needs to be done with a naked monkey and a pile of pee soaked clothes. That's MOM STUFF.

Fast forward to this morning, I'm juggling all the breakfast stuff to get a hot breakfast to the monkey and spouse. Eggs, maple bacon, croissants, and coffee for Jens and I. They're eating while I'm fetching milk for monkey and pouring coffee so that I can sit down to my considerably cooler breakfast of eggs, bacon, and croissants. And I come back in with the awesome mug my bestie, Liz, got me. It says, "I'm a MOM. What's your super power?"

Monkey reads this and immediately goes, "Being a mom is NOT a super power." And Jens pipes up, "UH. Yes it is. Last night when you were naked and on top of your covers it looked like one to me!"

And I am pointing out to this child that I do a lot that he doesn't notice, he just thinks things magically happen around the house (much like Oma's perma-stocked cupboards I had to educate him on the other day). And he, remembering what I told him before, says "Nothing happens by magic!"

"That's right! People do it! I do it! There's work that gets done that you don't notice!"

And Jens says, "A sufficiently advanced mother is indistinguishable from magic." <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Some days, there are huge perks to being married to a geek. Also, I need this on a mug. NEED. IT.

Vacuum Monkey Room
Vacuum my room
Vacuum rugs
Vacuum sofa

Sweep bathroom
Sweep Kitchen
Sweep living room

Mop Living room
Mop Kitchen
Mop Bathroom

Scrub toilet
Scrub sink

wipe down bathroom surfaces
wipe down kitchen counters
wipe down living room surfaces

strip sofa
strip Monkey bed
strip my/Jens bed

Re-cover sofa
make Monkey bed
make my/Jens bed

Wash Monkey sheets
Wash Monkey Blankets
Wash Monkey Blankets
Wash my/Jens sheets

Hang out Couch blankets
Hang out Monkey sheets
Hang out Monkey Blankets
Hang out my/Jens sheets

Bring in and fold Couch blankets
Bring in and fold Monkey sheets
Bring in and fold Monkey Blankets
Bring in and fold my/Jens sheets

Put away Couch blankets
Put away Monkey sheets
Put away Monkey Blankets
Put away my/Jens sheets

Wash Monkey Laundry - In Progress
Wash My/Jens Laundry - In Progress

Dry/Hang Monkey Laundry - In Progress
Dry/Hang My/Jens Laundry - In Progress

Fold/Put away Monkey Laundry - In Progress
Fold/Put away My/Jens Laundry - In Progress

Put away Dishes
Wash Dishes
Put away Dishes

Make Casserole 1
Make Casserole 2 - 1/2 way done

OK. So my big plans have crashed and burned.

I did bust my butt Wednesday, cleaning out and scrubbing out cabinets and reorganizing. But everything I've done keeps getting undone, or looks like it anyway. And most of that list still is unfinished.

Today I have done ... nada really. I took a stab at the dog bar and cleaned one drawer of it. I then proceeded to lounge around and do nothing except make an Oreo Pie.

Tomorrow Jens and Sammy T will be out on the town for some Papa/Monkey time and I will be home. Ostensibly cleaning. We'll see.

OH! And something fun seems to have happened. Everything tastes OFF. Bitter, wrong and weird. Apparently this is a side effect of my meds. That this would hit roughly two weeks after I've switched meds ... supposedly they are the same but different names, different "inactive ingredients" and somehow effecting me differently, I'm gonna say they ARE NOT THE SAME.

Monday went well! I busted my ass cleaning. Jens comes home and, after being asked what he thinks, says in a noncommittal tone, "It's a good start." *twitch twitch*

Just have one thing left over to do: -Monkey toys straightened. I will put that off a bit though so I can get started on the Tuesday things.

Tuesday:
-Monkey to Kita
-blankets back on sofa - technically belongs on Monday's list of accomplishments
-dishes put away and dishwasher filled/run
-clear counters/put things where they go/toss stuff out
-wipe down wall tiles/outside of cabinets
-clean microwave/assorted small appliances
-trash out
-sweep over and over and mop/vacuum rugs
-pick up Monkey
-clean and organize pot/pan area
-clean and organize Tupperware area

Went to the doc and waited a little more than 2 and a half hours. Finally got in there around the time I needed to get moving to pick up Sammy. Stressful.

Anyway, here Bupropion (Zyban) is only for quitting smoking. She looked for other meds and could find nothing that didn't have excessive weight gain as a side effect, and since I told her what it's used for in the US she agreed, despite misgivings, to let me give it a try. Because it's only for quitting smoking and not mental health issues I have to pay for it on my own, and it's 67€ and change. Which is doable but annoying.

She told me that my ecigs are a horrible idea and went on about chemicals and I should quit them. Which I think I will for 30 days while I'm on the Bupropion. She also said I need to seriously up my vit D dosage and keep taking the B vitamins.

Going to stroll to the store and the pharmacy in a little bit and pick up the new vit D and the Bupropion. Then I think I will sit under my sun lamp and vegetate because I have zero energy.

Other advice from the doctor was weight-loss related, I should cook only with coconut fat and cut out all other sources from my diet, no butter, no eggs, no animal fat, no other cooking oils ... this sounds sketchy as hell to me. I will peruse the internets and see what they have to say about her advice.

Sammy had a blast at the zoo today. He was thrilled about riding on the train, though he wanted it to go faster and make fewer stops. LOL

He was nervous about the tram, but was eager to get back on it the second time around.

He had a lot of fun at the Zoo, we did a few laps around and saw all of the animals we could find. He was excited about the elephants, but did not want to see them any closer. He went on every slide we came across, climbed on a few things and got to pet some sheep. He really liked the exhibits with fish, and of course the penguins are always a favorite. He tried to help an adventurous kid get back to his mother, which the kid didn't want to do. And he played with some other kids as he came across them. He also begged money off of me and Oma to play on the coin operated digging machine and the coin operated bumper cars. He tried to boss Oma into crawling around on hands and knees and playing with him a few times, that was a no go, but I got down and crawled around because I thought I was still young enough. Dude, I know now why my mom had kids in her early 20's. Holy crap.

We didn't make it to the little train in the Große Garten, it was too much for one day. We did hit the gift shop and picked out a post card for him to take in to Kindergarten when he goes back, and some animal stickers to put on his wall. Oma said he couldn't have a stuffed animal because he has enough, she then got him a fire engine. *shakes her head*

On the train Sammy kept saying he wasn't tired, as he was yawning and trying to keep his eyes open, I was amused. He's been running imaginary trains since we got home, in the tub he was driving the Octonauts around and everywhere the Gup-A stopped he made train announcements. He wants to go back tomorrow. Oma suggested we do it again for his birthday, I think that may be a solid plan.


A WTF from our fun day at the Zoo in Dresden: From the top of a little tower, Sammy is trying to convince another little boy to get out of his rented zoo stroller and join him. Having just watched the kid be put in the cart a few minutes before I discouraged him, then I noticed Random Boy's Oma who had put him in said stroller was on a bench several feet away playing on a smart phone. The boy was obviously bored and when he sees a little bird on the walkway he gets excited and starts calling out to his Oma for her to share in this exciting bird experience. Her response was essentially, "Yeah yeah, I see it." Followed by a short glance up and a very short, "I saw it." To hush the kid up. Poor kid went back to looking sad and bored, and we walked on leaving Oma to her terribly important phone fiddling. Who does that?! Poor kid.

*Me, Jens, and Sammy T, in the car, In one Ear - Cage the Elephant playing on the iPod*
Me: (to Jens) I'm really glad Sammy isn't paying attention to the music or he would have just learned the S-word and the F-word.
Jens: *changing the song* (to Sammy) Do you know the F-word?
Sammy: Ja!
Me: *Thinking: Oh god, I'm a bad mom!*
Jens: What is it?
Sammy: Flughafen! (Airport in German.)
Jens: And the S-word, do you know the S-word?
Sammy: Ja!
Jens: What is it? What is the S-word?
Sammy: Me! Samuel!

We then stopped trying to keep the laughter in. Best kid ever.

Woke up today with a horrible sore throat. Feeling like total crap. So I went to the doctor. Does anybody else get that slight feeling of concern mostly overpowered by vindication when the doctor looks horrified?

Doctor: *makes horrified face* How long have you had this?
Me: I woke up with it this morning.
Doctor: *shocked face* Your throat is awfully red, your lymph nodes and the back of your tongue are really swollen. I'm going to put you on 10 days of antibiotics.
Me: *nods and thinks "THAT'S RIGHT BETCHES! I BELONG IN THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE! IT'S NOT ALL IN MY HEAD!"*

Also, since my throat hurts like hell, I put myself on the 'Fuck You, It Hurts When I Swallow' Diet. AKA Ice Cream. Why call it that, you ask? One, it's that time of month so I'm cranky. Two, 'I thought you were trying to lo-' FUCK YOU, IT HURTS WHEN I SWALLOW. See how that works?

Long night of nightmares left me with the feeling I ought to make a will. ( TL;DR )

I got sick as a dog the other week. Stomach bug that started on Saturday and lasted until Monday, and a nasty cold that started up on Monday that is still clinging on.

That means there was no meeting with the lady at the other Kindergarten. I did however manage to lose 7 pounds in 3 days of stomach flu so I think that I can be forgiven for not doing, well anything, really.

This past Saturday we took Sammy T to the zoo in Leipzig. He was all about the elephants. He was dragging me along once we got in insisting that we go to the elephants. When we got there, he was really quiet and his eyes were huge. I think he was suitably impressed! Long story short, it was a really nice zoo and we had a lot of fun, but it was really tiring.

I've been trying to come up with a list of 100 things I want to do/change over the next year/two years. I'm up to 34. Quite a few of them are big things, which means I could break them down into smaller steps, and I think I will try to do so, but later when I'm not trying to get my house back in order.